As I was looking for something, among all the boxes, I came across the book "Desire" by John Eldredge. An old book of Richard's. "The journey we must take to find the Life God offers" is written under the title. I hate travelling…okay, I don't hate it….but with 4 kids, travel isn't fun. But I love following psychological journeys….I'm always looking for myself and constantly wonder about the life God planned for me….am I on the right path? What am I going to be when i grow up? How am I going to get there? And occasionally, I wonder if it is even possible….to be truly content….without that longing…I wondered if the waiting was for something that is not possible in this world….And so I'm reading this book…and I'm impressed with Mr. Eldredge's knowledge and ability to make sense of it all. And so so grateful for his ability to put a lot of what I had been thinking into words and i now know that I am not alone in my thoughts. Others are thinking these crazy things too.
Eldredge writes that Augustine emphasized, "The whole life of a good Christian is a holy longing….that is our life, to be exercised by longing." Eldredge explains that we need to find contentment without being filled, become comfortable with the mystery in our journey, "we have to let it go".
"Contentment is not freedom from desire, but freedom of desire. Being content is not pretending that everything is the way you wish it would be, it is not acting as though you have no wishes. Rather, it is no longer being ruled by your desires."
"The things we do to avoid the ache are always worse in the end than the ache itself….every addiction comes from the attempt to get rid of the ache."
"we have to let it go…"
"groan inwardly" while we "wait".
"To wait is to learn the spiritual grace of detachment, the freedom of desire. Not the absence of desire, but desire at rest".
Waiting…..I'm working on that, been working on that for many years. And looking back, I can see how that's always been a tough lesson for me. I can see now how God kept thowing me that card and I kept trying to avoid it. Wait, wait wait…..
Another (life lesson) that i have finally grasped is the ability to groan and be okay with that…..
"and groaning…." Eldredge also writes about that in his book. And I will write about it in another post.
Good night all!
