Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Emotional Freedom

"Emotional freedom is both the root and the fruit of a life lived in present moment awareness. This is only possible when all the dimensions of our life are unencumbered by the toxic residue of past experiences. Living in this state allows us to use our past but not allow our past to use us." - David Simon

Saturday, October 24, 2009

enlightened relationships

....this is a continuation from this morning's blog (see next blog below)....

It was David Simon (co-founder of the Chopra Center) who talked about enlightened relationships at the “Renewal Workshop”. Mature, enlightened relationships are based on equality.

I am beneath no one
I am above no one

(Namaste = the being in me recognizes the being in you and recognizes that we are the same)

But Gabor Mate also had something to say about mature attachment relationships. Acceptance in the context of adult-to-adult relationships may mean simply acknowledging that the other is the way he or she is; not judging them and not corroding ones own soul with resentment that they are not different. The belief that anyone “should” be any different than he or she is is toxic to oneself, to the other and to the relationship. Although we believe we are acting out of love, when we are critical of others or work very hard to change them, it’s always about ourselves. I realize I can sometimes (many times….) be in denial of my self-righteousness. I have no right to stand in front of others telling them I have no baggage….I have baggage and sometimes (many times) it controls me. But part of my personal development is realizing that I have control over my thoughts and feelings and I can choose to lose those that no longer serve me.

But I need to point the finger back at me and ask myself what am I hiding? What feelings do I need to work through? Insecurity? Fear? Fear of being used …. taken for granted ….unappreciated….abandoned….that’s my baggage.

Attachment relationships are based on truth. Anyone who thinks she does not have plenty of her own spiritual or psychological work to do is not in touch with the truth.

It feels good to shed my cloak of self-righteousness and admit I was wrong about many things. And to anyone who had to stand up against that wall I put up….I’m sorry.

Balance within Relationships

I wanted to update my blog this morning. So I have been assessing my state of mind and i keep thinking of something I read somewhere.....I couldn't find the quote.....although, I think it's in Gabor's book on addiction.
So I'm thinking about healthy relationships and how they are based on equality. How can we help eachother stay balanced? Is it possible? Or maybe, the unbalance is based on a persection that is false. But it's still unbalanced and, honestly, aren't most relationships broken by false perceptions, misunderstandings?
I think too much about nothing. If I find the quote today, I will post it, if not, I'll move on....

But I am practicing healthy boundaries, trying to stay centred and balanced and grounded within myself....but I am alone and human beings are social creatures....don't we need eachother by nature?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Tuesday Morning

It is Tuesday Morning. This is the time....John's in school, Kate's in art class next door and I'm sitting in a coffee shop....this is the time when I think of what I've read in the past week....what other's have said, what I've thought....it all gets sorted in my brain. Things get written down do be looked at later....when I have time....

It's beautiful. The sun is out it's chilly enough for me to wear my new (very cool) wool sweater. And I was going to start writing my speech for the "Sensory Showtime". I'm not procrastinating. I'm organiing it in my head. :) So much I want to say...but really, I don't want to say anything. I wish I could come up with the perfect sentence that says it all.....

Gabor Mate wrote that the downtown eastside is really an expression of everything "higher" society is repressing. It is the ugliness in all of us....taking form as addiction and pain on the downtown eastside of Vancouver. It's easier for society to pile it's ugliness on the weak and vulnerable. And this is what keeps repeating in my brain....because I do feel that this "Autism and sensory processing disorder epidemic" is trying to tell us something about how our society has gone wrong. When was the last time you hugged a tree? Held something organic and natural? what is real about office buildings and computers and telephones and websites and bloggers? So lots of our children are being born with problems with their sensory processing (1 in 6)? When was the last time you actually looked into someones eyes and understood what they were feeling without even using words? How long can you truly look into my eyes without turning away? (Yes, I have trouble with this....I'm working on it) And we wonder why many children are autistic (I don't know the statistics). Maybe, their disorder has nothing to do with them, but us. What are they trying to tell us? Us....normal people....how normal are we?
But I will not say any of this (I'll try not to) because the people attending the screening of "Autistic-Like: Graham's Story"...the Sensory Showtime...know too well how unfair it all is. Know to well how hurtful it is to have people point fingers.
How much I have learned from my children....I will not be pointing fingers at them....they are my inspiration....my teachers because they have kicked me in the butt....kicked me into awareness and steered (?) me in the right direction. I can't change the world, but I can change myself.
And now I must pick up Kate....